11.10.23 - on getting ill
Yup, that checks out. I remember now why I never stick to a fitness program: I always get sick as soon as I start taking fitness seriously again. Every. Single. Time.
My colleagues and me had a fun team evening a few weeks ago and we had this stupid, drunk idea, that we should punish ourselves and register for a 10k obstacle course, up hills, through mud and over ... well ... OBSTACLES.
Anyway, I've only ever ran a 10k once but that was 2 years ago and I haven't done much in regards of running and only the occasional work out. So this time, I got my bum up, yet again, and really held myself accountable and BAM - ill!
It's so frustrating because the race is in 2 1/2 weeks and I feel unprepared and feel like I will be starting from zero again on Saturday.
But it can't be helped. I will get through that race and finish but I really wish I could do it and still be able to move the next day (and not hurt myself!).
Obviously didn't do anything on here either while I wallowed in self-pity (which was much needed, I bet!) while binge watching "Carzy Ex-Girlfriend" which I both loved and hated. I hated the drama and, as I wrote last time, far too much lying and deceiving that made me really uncomfortable, but when they introduced the mental health aspects and everything made a bit more sense and I was able to enjoy it more. A weird combination of drama, the silliest songs and deep thoughts, nice message at the end as well! And they definitely don't shy away from naming the problems - from alcoholism to mental health over to periods (including a silly song about period sex - woah) and feminine hygiene in general. It's worth a watch if you can stand the cringe and get through the first 2 series.
01.10.23
First things first: We won that pub quiz on Thursday! I can't believe it, especially because it was only the three of us! 4 other teams had answered all questions correctly so there was a tiebreaker - in the end we only won due to sheer luck but it was a good feeling anyway!
Apart from that, the last few days have been slow. I worked on the site mostly and watched a series that I don't know if I enjoy or not. There is too much lying and deceiving which I cannot stand, but there are the silliest musical numbers in there and they break the 4th wall so often and I DO enjoy that part of it. It's only 4 seasons so I see how much of it I can get through. I really want to watch the live action of One Piece. I haven't really watched the anime when it was on on TV, but the trailer of the LA looks interesting and I watched the first 10minutes which were intriguing!
I talked to my brother about old video games we liked to play, and now I keep getting flashbacks of childhood memories. I even dreamed about stuff I thought I had forgotten. It feels so weird, but at the same time it is like a faucet has been turned on and lots of memories and ideas are coming back to me. As if it had expanded somehow.
Anyway, H. and I are off to go a few kilometres in our bikes now. It's great that the weather is still holding up and it's not raining or too hot.
28.09.23
There are just so many things I want to do on here that I am forgetting to eat. It is 12.30am and all I had was decaf coffee and water. I am on holiday at the moment so I don't really need to get up early but I get so excited to work on this that I fly out of bed. I cannot remember when that happend the last time - being excited about something in general. I am looking forward to things, yes, but this weird feeling in your stomach when you think of something that you're going to do ... I havent't had that for years now. I thought it would never come back again and that that was just a part of being an adult. I cannot believe how happy this makes me.
Don't get me wrong, I love my job and I like working with (most of) my colleagues, but I wake up at the same time every morning to sit at my computer (yay for home office), so much so, that I wake up at the same time on weekends, and usually on free days and holidays as well. But waking up without an alarm and being excited for the day are two compleeeeetly different shoes.
I'm off to meet my friends for a pub quiz tonight. We go every Thursday and I love it especially because it is not your normal what-is-the-capital-of-this-country kinda quiz but more sherlocky. The deal is that you have 3 rounds with 6 questions each. You get a subject for each round and then 6 sentences with clues in them that help you figure out the answers. For example the category is I am green and you first sentence is: "Talking in Paris, I breathe you in as I'm walking" (their sentences are ways better but they're in German so it won't translate). Okay, so now you need to figure out a green thing or being with this sentence.
Talking in Paris would be french, something I breathe is oxygen and another word for to walk is to go. So that would translate to Frog and that would be the first answer. I love it because you have to communicate with each other to figuire it out. "Breathe you in" is also a song, could it have something to do with the band (Monrose)? What about "Talking in Paris", could that be a movie? And by talking to each other and just throwing ideas around you get to it in the end and you get that shot of dopamine. Today, it is just three of us. My best friend U. and a very good friend S., but we were a group of 7 at some point. I love this little tradition.
26.09.23
This already feels so much better than it was. Obviously, there is still so much to do and I hope to be able to put a few more things up, however, someone had this game in their link list that is just text and still extremely addictive, so I've been playing it pretty much the whole day. It is called A Dark Room and this describes pretty much how you start. You have a room and you need to gather wood for the fire. As soon as the fire is there someone comes to you asking if they can stay. From there you set up traps, build huts and get your little village going. Bit by bit you gather everything you need to embark on little adventures and I cannot believe that it is JUST TEXT! So, if you want to get away from the usual games that bombard you with ads, make you wait forever and overstimulate you, try this one!
Archive
25.09.23 - The joy of creativity
Okay, look, I don't know where this unparalelled drive to write comes from all of the sudden, but I need to get my thoughts down and I will create more pages later.
It feels like an epiphany of sort. All the time I had to think about what uniquie thing I bring to the table. Who am I to say I deserve to be on the web? Taking up the space just to be another blog out there. But fuck it! I just thought about adding a link to the linkpage and wondered if people would find it weird - yes, probably! That's what this is for. Sharing weird stuff that people might not know about, getting away from the cookie cutter websites that everybody knows. But also: linking stuff that everybody uses because it is good and I don't want to lose that link.
I feel like my thinking has become narrower and narrower and now a switch has flicked and I feel all these ideas bubbling up (and while I am writing this I feel like such a bleb for having these thought just because of 2 days of surfing the web).
The most incredible thing of all: I got up this morning and was excited! I couldn't wait to get back and look at all the things and create and furnish this little space.
Sometimes I really think there is something in the universe that connects things. I was reading a book by Johann Hari calles "Stolen Focus - why you can't pay attention" and it resonated so much with me that I haven't touched a social media app for days now and that is huge for me. I used to have screen times of 4/5hrs a day on TikTok alone. I told myself that I was learning stuff from it, and to a degree, that was true - I have a much greater appreciation for the struggels of trans* people now (so much so, that Tiktok probably thinks I am trans) and I learned a huge deal about growing plants and how to talk to children (again, TikTok probably thinks I have children even though I don't and never will). However, my use of it was still all wrong. Obviously, these sites are designed to keep you on them as much as possible, but even when I put a timer on that app, more often than not I would ignore it and just add time because I had the time and nothing else planned. Now, the same day that I was reading in that book that the times of the internet has changed and that things get more and more commercialised, I stumble upon that site? Really? I doubt that this was coincidence. So thank you, to who- or whatever nudged me in the right direction. It is much appreciated.
24.09.23 - Getting started and the story behind the site
Can't wait to get started the old-fashioned way again!
I have literally just registered (as of September 24th 2023) and am beyond excited to get back into the flow of building my little space on the web from scratch.
I used to have a blog which started out as a tiny page on the small web. I shared what I ate, what music I listened to and that my parents wanted me to go to bed an how unfair that was - good old times.
As I switched sites from myblog.de (an interconnected blogging service) to my own webspace, after a while, things became ... less connected and more muddled. As the "new web" rolled in, and there where more and more sponcorships and "How to do xxx in xxx of time" Blogs, websites would die out. Friends that I had known for years felt pressured to keep up with the times and build new, more professional looking sites and I was the same. I lost my interest because all the fun sites I knew where gone or abandoned. It got to a point where I clicked through my blogroll and couldn't figure out if that was still a blog from a friend or if they had sold their domain and made space for an online shop. Everything looked the same, the creativity was gone. And the same happened to me. My page is still there but it is boring, without character. No more participation, all articles trying to be conform with "the standard".
Then I stumbled upon Ninacti0n's Website and that reintroduced this whole feeling of nostalgia. There was a website out there that wasn't white and blue and clean with SEO ready headlines?! A real website from a real person with character and creativity pouring from every "site"? I JUST LOVE IT! And then I thought: Are there more? Turns out: Yes there are, hundreds and hundreds of them! Sites with colours all over the place, with intriguing texts, hidden links (just for the fun of it!), and proper blogrolls to further explore the magical world! I was and AM hooked. From yesterday and today alone (and mind you it is 8.40am) I must've been on 100 different sites. From websites with games with tiny pixel cats, over nifty tools and three satellites 15.000 years in the furture talking to each other while watching football..
I also stumbled upon the article by Parimal Satyal on neustadt.fr called "Rediscovering the small web" which introduced me to neocities and to make a long story short: Here I am!
Over the next few days I will polish this website, try to get back into HTML and CSS and all the fun that comes with (re-)discovering what can be done with it.
As I rediscover the real web, I am stumbling over so many incredible and interesting sites that I cannot navigate my tabs anymore. So I have to store them away somewhere for later exploration.
Link to the site with the links to other sites
